Neurodivergence awareness has dramatically risen in the last 10 years driven by grassroots social media movements and an explosive rise in adult diagnoses. Shifting from a clinical, deficit-based model to a broader, strengths based understanding of neurological differences. As clinicians, we are still finding out more and more about neurodivergence so that we are better able to recognise traits as natural variations as opposed to a fixed deficit-based model. The key benefits of understanding neurodivergence include innovation and creativity, enhanced problem-solving, hyper focus and detail orientation and increased productivity to name but a few. However, in my practice I have observed that many neurodivergent people feel that they don’t “fit in” and therefore still feel marginalised.
My theory, that has been refined over many years of practicing in Counselling in Hertfordshire, is that neurodivergent individuals are trying to fit into societal neurotypical ‘norms’ that they are not supposed to in the first place. A lot of my work with individuals and couples is to understand their differences, accept who they actually are and to celebrate self-acceptance within themselves. That said, how will that influence how they raise their children who may also be neurodivergent?
There are a host of questions that may be asked but for the purposes of this short article I feel that it may be beneficial to discuss not only accepting our own individual differences but also accepting our children’s individual differences. It may seem a simple question but the vagaries of raising neurodivergent children, especially if you are neurodivergent yourself, can be full of misunderstandings, prototypical reactions rather than authentic responses that can shape the child’s psychological view of themselves and the world around them.
The cornerstone of understanding your children is by way of understanding yourself. A deep dive into identifying your particular traits and triggers from the outset and exploring your own childhood. The nature/nurture debate is still very prevalent in clinical circles. Discord in the home can exacerbate neurodivergent traits rather than accommodate them. I feel that it’s safe to assume, that we all want our children to thrive and be happy and autonomous in the choices that they make in their adult lives. Whether it be career, relationships and/or creating a realistic overall vision for their futures.
Self-expression and authenticity are key to most people’s happiness, especially to the neurodivergent population. Self-expression and authenticity are vital for neurodivergent people because they are essential for survival, mental health, and long-term well-being, acting as a necessary countermeasure to the exhaustion and distress caused by constant masking. For many neurodivergent individuals, authenticity is a form of resistance against a world designed for neurotypical norms, helping to avoid burnout and reclaim energy.
My integrative practice at counselling near me can help you to underpin and ground your understanding of yourself and your children. Paving the way to understanding some of the following examples:
- Mental health and Well-Being
- Effective Self-Regulation
- Authentic Communication and Connection
- Embracing Unique Strengths
My practice is also effective for neurotypical individuals who are less than confident in expressing who they truly are for fear of disapproval and the anxiety that may arise for various reasons including learned behaviours and working models of thinking instilled from a very young age. If you would like to explore more, please contact me today at Penny Glazebrook Counselling and Psychotherapy or contact: 07739 106062
