During my 23 years of practicing integrative counselling psychotherapy, I have treated many couples for various reasons. I have noticed that there seems to be a pervasive pattern in those relationships. I have come to the conclusion that there are bone fide chapters throughout their ‘book of marriage’. We all change over time but the ticket to a successful marriage or long term committed partnership is Communication.
Being able to communicate our needs over time and our expectations of each other seems to be quite a simple exercise but for some, it may become a formidable task that acts as an obstacle to a harmonious meeting of two minds. Confusion and resentment may build over the years when contentious issues, as and when they arise, are not addressed.
My relationship counselling and psychotherapy in Hertfordshire can help you to address important issues and navigate life’s milestones that helps to highlight primary expectations of one another. Whether they are realistic or otherwise. Respecting each other’s feelings and perspectives is key to longevity in any significant relationship but sadly, sometimes gets ignored a lot of the time.
Careers and having children. Household and financial responsibilities take over and divert our attention away from what really matters: where are we in our marriage/partnership? If we were even to consider the significance of this fundamental question, we are already halfway towards repairing any ruptures that may have formulated over the years.
Other factors that may affect the retention of long-term bonds are chronic physical illnesses and mental health illnesses and interpersonal relationships in the extended family. We don’t all have the psychological capacity to always support one another in the ways that we need. This is where professional therapeutic guidance can help to navigate fragile conversations with the best outcomes in mind.
When we first fall in love, we tend to have a naïve way of looking forward to our futures together that could be viewed as ‘chapter one’ in our relationship. We don’t really want to consider particular incompatibilities between us that at first sight are intriguing and exciting but over the years become annoying! Relationship counselling and psychotherapy in Hertfordshire can help address these incompatibilities and help you both reach a comfortable compromise with a view to a renewed vision for your future together.
Chapter two may encompass having children for some couples where a ripening of commitment is secured in order that the family bonds are healthy and longer term but also come with their inherent challenges. For other couples who do not have children, they may have sketched out certain expectations over the years that have not come to fruition for various reasons. Disappointment ensues and a type of complacency or despondency towards each other overrides the once vibrant partnership that you both so looked forward to.
Chapter three could be viewed as the winning prize in any longer-term relationship. 50th Anniversaries are celebrated with a sense of pride and achievement. One may wonder how that was even possible! That’s where a vision for the future together is possible and it can aid longevity, coupled with a compassionate understanding of one another regardless of which ‘chapter’ and its various contents. Whatever ‘chapter’ you feel that you are in your marriage/partnership with its inherent stumbling blocks, with my professional guidance I can help you both to highlight what the actual issues are and look forward to a happier, healthier way of relating to each other.
If you feel that you could benefit from my professional relationship counselling and psychotherapy. Please contact me at Penny Glazebrook Counselling and Psychotherapy for an initial consultation with a view to new beginnings in your relationship.
